In this part, we will cover the next 2 main types of cognitive distortions: fortune-teller error and mind-reading.
Cognitive Distortions #4 and #5: Fortune-telling and Mind-Reading
Oh, how well I know these two distortions. They are two of the more embarrassing distortions because they seem so logical inside my head, but so ridiculous outside of it.
These distortions have to do with believing I’m so smart that I can predict the future (Dr. David Burns calls this “fortune-telling”1), or so intuitive that I know what someone else is thinking without having to ask (Burns calls this “mind-reading”1).
Inevitably I imagine the worst in both cases, which leads to a lot of needless “doom and gloom” stewing. Here are a few examples:
- “That project went so badly that my boss must be furious with me (mind-reading). I’m sure he wants to fire me now (mind-reading). What will I do? My career will be ruined (fortune-telling) and I will soon be begging on the streets (fortune-telling). My life is over (fortune-telling)!”
- “My [husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend] seemed upset just now. He/she must be mad at me about something (mind-reading). We will probably get into a huge fight about it later (fortune-telling). Why am I so bad at relationships? He/she will probably break up with me (fortune-telling) and then I will never find anyone else to love me (fortune-telling). My life is over (fortune-telling)!”
Three Main Problems of Mind-Reading/Fortune-Telling
Mind-reading and fortune-telling both involve jumping to conclusions based on limited or no information. This is why I am talking about the two together rather than separately.
I see three main problems with the “jumping to conclusion” type of distortions:
1) Mind-reading and fortune-telling often provide warp or weft for the other and thus weave an entirely cohesive, though inaccurate, view of reality.
It is this cohesiveness that creates the false ring of truth. We think to ourselves, “It all sounds so logical that it must be true.” But in reality, this “logical” train of thought has created a very crooked pattern.
2) We usually jump to the worst imaginable conclusions.
The tendency to dwell on the worst possible outcome is associated with certain personality traits, like neuroticism.2 In my own mind, I think the driving force has always been – ironically – fear. I’ve thought to myself, “I don’t want to ever be unpleasantly surprised by circumstances in life. So if I can always think of and anticipate the worst, I can brace myself for it.” The problem is, we often create self-fulfilling prophecies in this way. If we expect to fight with our loved ones, then we end up doing exactly that. Anticipating the worst often leads to experiencing the worst: relationship strain, separation/divorce, failed jobs or business ventures, financial loss, etc.
3) Catastrophic thoughts ultimately lead to a sense of futility and lost hope.
The thought, “My life is over” can bring on the darkest thought of all: suicide. It has been said that suicide is the ultimate fortune-teller error. A fortune-teller error of this magnitude draws one of two conclusions: a) either you or I will be better off dead, or b) the rest of the world will be better off without us.3
Forget the morals of this question for a minute and just focus on the sweeping assumptions that must be made here.
In order to draw either conclusion, you or I must believe that nothing we have ever done in the past, nor anything we have the potential to do in the future, is worth our staying alive. No relationship is worth our staying alive, nor any bond of love, nor any commitment, nor any belief or faith.
Does that sound logical to you?
You and I must never, no, not ever, believe that suicidal feelings are based on logical fact. If you don’t believe me, talk to the family members of someone who committed suicide and ask them if they think their loved one made the “logical” or “right” choice.
Do you have the mind-reading or fortune-telling cognitive distortions?
This is fairly easy to answer. If you have ever jumped to conclusions about other’s actions or motives or made dire predictions about the outcome of a situation, then you have had these distortions.
Here are some more specific examples of Mind-Reading:
- “If you really cared about me, you would already know that I need more [time, attention, etc.]”
- “You’re just saying because you [feel sorry for me, are trying to be nice, etc.]”
- “I don’t have to ask what he or she thinks. Isn’t it obvious?”
- “I just know they’re talking about me.”
Here are some more specific examples of Fortune-Telling:
- “I just know this whole thing is going to blow up in our faces.”
- “Why does she want to talk to me? Something terrible must have happened.”
- “Why does he want to talk to me? I must have done something wrong.”
- “My career is finished!”
- “I’ll never recover from depression.”
Constantly indulging in such predictions will create the telltale signs of worry and anxiety and can even escalate into panic.
What is the solution to Fortune-Telling?
For me, there are two stages:
In the first stage, I remind myself that I don’t know the future.
The likely mental response to this is, “Yes, but I can make pretty accurate guesses, can’t I?”
Well, can I? How good is my track record on this? Have I ever been wrong? Most of us have been. So what makes me think I will be more accurate in the current case?
An old saying – often ascribed to Mark Twain – goes like this: “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”4
The underlying idea precedes Mark Twain by several centuries. Seneca the Younger (4BC-65AD), a Roman philosopher, wrote, “There is nothing so wretched or foolish as to anticipate misfortunes. What madness it is in your expecting evil before it arrives!”5
In the second stage, I remind myself that there are only two possible outcomes to predicting the future.
Either my prediction will be right, or it will be wrong.6
If I am right, all my foreshadowing worry will not have prevented the outcome, but just made me suffer through it several times over rather than just once.
If I am wrong, then all my worry will have been for nothing.
So, is it worth the mental hassle?
What is the Solution to Mind-Reading?
Here’s a good starting point:
Live by the Golden Rule: treat others as we would like to be treated ourselves.7
Judging others’ motives and actions is generally not a good idea, and it is not respectful.
When we are tempted to mind-read, it may be worth asking, “If I were on the other side of this, how would I want to be treated?”
Here is my personal answer to that question: “I would want the other person to hear me out, even if they think they already know what I am thinking. Then I would want them to demonstrate, through words or actions, that they listened and understood what I said. Even if we disagree in the end, this acknowledgment would make me feel respected and appreciated in our relationship.”
So the solution is to put these actions into practice.
Not to assume, but to ask.
Not to talk, but to listen.
Not to put words or actions in others’ mouths or minds, but to respect their ability to do this themselves.
Conclusion & Action Steps
I know from personal experience how entrenched these cognitive distortions can be in our daily lives and interactions with others. But getting rid of them can also rid us of an enormous burden of worry and hard feelings. Our relationships with others will also improve, as we learn to listen and treat them with consideration and respect.
- Review your thought journal and look for signs of mind-reading and fortune-telling distortions.
- For fortune-teller distortions, write your responses to the following questions: “If I am right about this prediction, but I choose to let it go anyway, what is the worst thing that will happen? What is the worst thing that will happen if I am wrong? Is this really worth worrying about?”
- For mind-reading distortions, write your responses to the following questions: “If I were in the other person’s shoes right now, how would I want to be treated in this situation? Is it possible that I am misreading his or her motives, or that I don’t know the full story?”
- Read the next part of this 101 series. Or you can read the previous part. Or you can start from the beginning.
1 Burns, D. D. (1981). Feeling good. Signet Book. pp. 36-37.
2 Garcia, N. M., & Zoellner, L. A. (2017). Fear generalisation in individuals with high neuroticism: increasing predictability is not necessarily better. Cognition and Emotion, 31(8), 1647-1662.
3 Beck, A. T. (1979). Cognitive therapy of depression (pp.12, 210-211). New York: Guilford press.
4 No one really knows who first said this. The best match tracked down by the “Quote Investigator” (https://quoteinvestigator.com/2013/10/04/never-happened/) was in 1881 by President-elect Andrew Garfield.
5 Quoted on the above website. The original reference is provided as: 1976, Mnemosyne, Fourth Series, Volume 29, Fasc. 3, Seneca’s 98th Letter and the ‘Praemeditatio futuri mali’ by C. E. Manning, Quote Page 302, Published by BRILL.
6 Nedley, N. A. (2011). The lost art of thinking: How to improve emotional intelligence and achieve peak mental performance. Oklahoma: Nedley Publishing. p.75.
7 This is stated in the Christian Bible in this way: “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:12 (New International Version). But the same idea is expressed in multiple faiths and philosophies including Buddhism, Hinduism, Judaism, Confucianism, and Islam.
Dr. Pamela Coburn-Litvak has published research articles on exercise and stress in Neuroscience and Neurobiology of Learning and Behavior. Her latest book, Leaving the Shadowland of Stress, Anxiety, and Depression, was published in 2020.
After receiving a Ph.D. in Neurobiology and Behavior from the State University of New York at Stony Brook, she served as both Assistant Professor of Physiology & Pharmacology and Special Assistant to the Vice President for Research Affairs at Loma Linda University in Loma Linda, California. She then joined the Biology department at Andrews University and developed courses in human physiology as well as the neurobiology of mental illness. She also founded Rock @ Science LLC, a company that specializes in health and science education and web development. She co-developed the brain and body physiology segment of the Stress: Beyond Coping seminar with its creator, Dr. William “Skip” MacCarty, DMin.
Dr. Coburn-Litvak currently lives in California with her husband. Their two daughters are mostly grown and attending school elsewhere.
When she’s not studying or teaching about stress, she enjoys stress-relieving activities like puttering around the garden, taking nature walks with her family, knitting, cooking, and reading.
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